ITS SPRING !!!!!!!!

March is here..fuck the calendar, I FEEL IT ! I can't stay focused, or dressed, or asleep..I'M ALIVE. I got russian booz blues in the car that's making it worse..hope someone darts my crazy ass with a tranquilizer before I do something stupid....

Premonitions, angels, falcons, unquiet mind

SPB, dead of winter. Beware the low flying angels.. I only catch glimpses of that world, my world..Realities of all sorts hold me firmly on the ground, no escape, not any more. Lower expectations with a chance of freezing rain. I was looking at a face of a man I used to love, two snapshots, 8 years apart, and it hurt me that he has aged so. I wanted to touch his hair, almost all grey now, to kiss his eyes, like before..it wasn't love, it was pain from loosing the image of him imprinted in my head, it was somehow my loss and I quietly mourned it over a drink. Who knew loosing can be so exciting ?..And I've only lost a few preconceived notions. I want to be above my own anguish, above pettiness ravaging my soul, tiny little grudges with long and lingering shadows. I should let it go. There's always peace in random angel sightings, in the sudden humbling awareness of being in an otherwise completely oblivious world.

off

Lazy morning, crazy morning hair, cup of tea, chipped -- bad luck, I'm barely up and dwelling on man's past - a drop of tar in my perfect earl grey. Take it back, I don't want to know. Or else I'll feel like sharing and give you a monkey for your back..alas, I am too kind to men and their prescious egos. Fuck the past. I got errands to run, a good book to read..I'll go for a ride and space out and nothing will get to me today. Today, I got Me, baby.