Wednesday, March 25, 2009

gr-r-r-r-r-....


With Public Health in the building, I can't prop my door open..My closet of an office is unbearably hot, humid and stinky (someone pooped in the hallway..)..I feel like a caged monkey in the zoo. My office plant sprouted, my stash of chocolate has melted...GET ME OUT OF HERE !!!!!..
here's some brain droppings before I have a meltdown..
-MD order, found on chart today: 50 ml brandy every Wednesday with dinner
-heavily accented voice mail greeting: "leave your messes..I go back"
-flashback: tour guy in Dominica, passing by a cemetery :"dead people live here"
-a flamboyantly gay nursing home activities director in AX shirt that has "EXPLODE" written all over it..
and for the drum-roll...
-from the list of Medicare-approved diagnoses (seriously, word-to-word): "suicide by a paintball gun"

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

vacation








7 days aboard a ship cruising the Caribbean is best for late winter blues, for me, anyway.. Para-sailing is way overrated. Only I can feel claustrophobic and out of air 400 ft up in the sky. Tubing, on the other hand, rules. I did everything physical I could think of. That too, lots. Things that impressed the most -- the ship, rocking-- no sea sickness, just feeling drunk hence the hangover, and it rocks you to sleep ever so gently..Cemetery in Aruba much like one in New Orleans -- vaults stacked above the ground, only in festive pastels..pink, blue, yellow, very Mardi Gras. A tiny chapel atop a sun-drenched hill, not a shade in site in a 90 degree heat -- stone cold to touch.. Old fortress of San Juan towering over the sea --entire Spanish armada sunk by its walls. Lunch of ceviche and tapas in old cobble stoned San Juan. Vintage porn in a local thrift store. Grenada's port, a sign for tourists to please refrain from wearing military attire on the island..scents of cinnamon and saffron and coffee, coffee to die for, palpitations and all. Dirt poor Dominica, chickens walking the the streets, stoned locals with tertiary syphilis, one of them chasing the jeep with a huge machete for I dared to take his picture..and a stinky sulfur springs resort named "Screw". Tiny Bonaire that is all ochra and deep blues and greens with trees a color of flesh, hot and mellow. As if stepping into a Gauguin's painting. And a very American St Thomas, vanity fair and tax-free David Yurman. Few things that didn't impress: casino, on-board entertainment, a sip of $1500/bottle cognac, local markets.

Thursday, March 05, 2009

in passing


Living in the moment is, once again, not happening. I need major wars and cataclysms to keep me awake, but I'm desperately craving some sleep. The moments flash and pass nulled by the mundane and leave me spent. I want something sustainable. An illusion. Yes, an illusion has more substance than a random burst of adrenaline. Have a mind-blowing orgasm and you're happy. Have ten more and you got yourself a nervous breakdown..Hold on to the moment just before -- I'll build you a shrine and follow your footsteps. Can't. Living on borrowed time, with no solitude, no peace, I leave myself the pure pleasure of sublimating pleasure. Keep it real somewhere else. I'm bringing back the blissful escapism, to guess, to digress, to slip away to random universe mid-day and dwell on own reflections and encrypted love letters. To not be in the moment. For now..