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I love my new place, love this shot of my window, a shot of wind through a mind gone stale. Bout time I reclaimed this space too, I'm putting too much value in aesthetics. Not anymore, its just me now and my heavily accented musings alone at last. So I've cured my sudden blues the old fashion way -- men. I came, I saw, I conquered three :) And only slept with one (mine) but felt like me again nonetheless. I'm 37 and look amazing naked. This will do for now..

Long days at work and buzy evenings at home turn to short unrestfull nites, another summer mostly missed. I'm not unhappy, I'm quite content, actually. Getting used to many little losses and expecting more, barely having the time to reflect on any..No impact, no harm done, none of it matters. I'm quietly mourning the loneliness I dream of and dread so much, welcoming a long rainy day ahead and all things coming to an end within me.

There's a method to my madness. Ever since I learned to bluff and cut corners. That high of cutting school and procrastinating till dead lines is still with me..I want to get away. BUT I JUST CAN'T lately, just can't carve out an hour all to myself. When will I catch up with what I love doing most and what I've perfected -- NOTHING ?..Now that could be a very busy bustling out-and-about nothing or a slow-mo ass-stuck-to-the-yoga-mat nothing or legs up with a book in bed mid-day nothing or all kinds of sweet nothings I so desperately crave..But no. Everything has to be meaningfull, and urgent, and important. I give up.