in passing

Living in the moment is, once again, not happening. I need major wars and cataclysms to keep me awake, but I'm desperately craving some sleep. The moments flash and pass nulled by the mundane and leave me spent. I want something sustainable. An illusion. Yes, an illusion has more substance than a random burst of adrenaline. Have a mind-blowing orgasm and you're happy. Have ten more and you got yourself a nervous breakdown..Hold on to the moment just before -- I'll build you a shrine and follow your footsteps. Can't. Living on borrowed time, with no solitude, no peace, I leave myself the pure pleasure of sublimating pleasure. Keep it real somewhere else. I'm bringing back the blissful escapism, to guess, to digress, to slip away to random universe mid-day and dwell on own reflections and encrypted love letters. To not be in the moment. For now..