SPB, frozen, night shots..magic

Daddy's girl, loves to doodle :)

Misc..

Life has been happening to the max even in the dead of winter..I've got some of it back on track and the rest is up in the air and its ok. I'm blogging a lot less and working a lot more..but I do have fun :) Went to a rock concert a few days back, a russian band circa my college years..One of my all time faves..I HAD A BLAST. The concert hall was jam packed with russians of all ages and I mean ALL ages. Few fights broke out, as usual :) I LOVED the band, the crowd, the booze and the buzz..I met my ex at this very place..I just loved being there..loved what I was wearing (ridiculously pricey and flattering COH jeans..) and the looks I was getting..god, I missed this :) I danced my head off, in 4 inch heels, mind you..I was drenched. But I don't do this every day, so there :) PS I absolutely refuse to age gracefully. I refuse to age at all :) My vanity will keep me young forever :))) My home is almost all re-done, we're doing great with Boo on all fronts, my work is an absolute nightmare, my life is just beginning yet again..

I'll be back..thanks for staying tuned :)..

Dialogie

Him (bipolar schizophrenic dt-ing on ETOH and crack), wearing smoky shades in a dark room..
--I'm 3 tmes divorced, I have problems..
Me, close to the door, ativan suringe at hand..
--REALLY ?..ME TOO :)))
--I have problems..I drank for a week and..and..I have nightmares
--Aga..
--I hear voices telling me to kill all the bad people.
--Am I one of the bad people ?..
--No, You'll help me.
--Hmm..

Blah

As always when life gets too real I get a strong aversion to blogging..I'm beyond tired..worked 2 12-hr shifts in a row..crazy busy all weekend long..had to get groceries..came home to a flooded bathroom and a blue-in-the-face babysitter who jumped out the door BAREFOOT. Long night ahead with screams for milk and kicks in the groin. A phrase stuck in my head from earlier at work -- "your patient's asking for a silver bullet". I reply "ok, coming up" and go on doing 10 things at a time. WTF ???..:)))

Alma Mater.

SPB Engineering Academy

Belated..

Nutrix picks in real life :)))

Nutrix' Wish List..yeah, very original :)))

pretty pink robe..one cute little piglet, just showered

Odds and ends..

-Compliment from guy at work: "NO OFFENCE, but you're a beautiful girl..."
-The most surreal feeling -- driving in a murky blizzard in a death of Midwestern winter with Caribbean reggae on full blast.
-A 400 lbs psychotic patient with explosive diarrhea that just ripped out all his lines and is headed for the elevator, whaling and leaving a trail of blood and poop behind him..and little old me trying to dart his bloody ass with an elephant dose of Haldol..
-A teeny tiny Club Monaco skirt that is a perfect fit after all the crap I've been eating these holidays -- a nice surprise, now if I could only get my ass in it and to a nice party for once, maybe there'd be more nice surprises in store..maybe not..In any case, I should work less and get out more..
-My kid does yoga, and no one thought her
-I had the most mindblowing hot dream about an old flame..Again, I should get out more..:)))

HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL !!!

this girl's going places :)..

fragments..I once dreamt of an attick just like that. so did a man behind this camera..

small comforts

With all the ass-kicking bad luck I'm having lately..here's a few things that made me feel ok..somewhat..
1. Reclaiming my space, throwing out bags and bags of crap out of all the closets, a complete de-cluttering of my home. Out with the old, in with the new, I'm done with dark ages. Let there be light, lots of it. I'm surrounded with white and it feels good.
2. Digging up a box of old letters and pics from my trips. Never fails.
3. Getting cable after not watching any TV for 2 years.
4. Watching Martha bake a perfect chocolate cake. Pure therapy. She scares the shit out of me, though..
5. Getting a tan (better yet, a free tan)
6. My daughter waking me up in the morning with kisses and hugs and falling asleep at night in my arms, happy. "Mama tut". Although its less precious at 1am..and 3am..and 6am..
7. A team of construction workers trumpling over each other to get me a gallon of milk in Dominicks at 1am. Very entertaining.
8. Having a wet dream about the same team later..
9. Having dreams
10. Repotting a ficus tree in miracle grow and watching it double in size in a week --$12. Sticking a green rubber behemoth Veronika dreads in the pot to keep her from digging in, and watching her try to sneak up behind him -- priceless.

That's more like it !!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=89oS4SN4mNg

Merry Christmas

Things I've done in the last 5 days, in no order

Made huge messy bubbles with Boo. Played. Played some more. Opened a few gifts early. Baked like a maniac. I cook and clean when really stressed and can't have a drink..I made chocolate chip cookies, pumpkin-cranberry-raisin cookies, lemon bars..and contemplating sugar cookies tomorrow..I cleaned the place top to bottom. Had playdates for Boo. None for me. Got cable. BTW that was no cable guy, that was cable GOD. Tall, dark, handsome, smoking hot. Boo made eyes at him..ok, we both did. Thank you, Santa :)))) Someone, please remind me that my life's a wreck !

what do you think when you see this bridge ?..

Nick and Nika

This is Nika's boyfriend Nick from across the hall (!!!). The sweetest cutest kid. He came over today..They were playing house, she totally bossed him around and there was a heated bilingual discussion on whether its ok to knock down the cube tower. It wasn't, as he soon realized :))) By the end of the hour they were HOLDING HANDS (!!!) He said "lets go" and off they went to HIS PLACE, while me and his mom were bent over in laughter..Later on she dug out a pair of pink shades and wouldn't take'em off for anything. I don't like Nabokov anymore :))) I'm SOOOOO not ready for this :)

mom's up to no good. I don't care its been 2 hours, I'm NOT giving up the hat :))) Ahoy !! Oy..

"To you I'm an atheist, to God I'm the loyal opposition"

Next to see on the list of all time favorites.."Stardust Memories"

X-mas tree fun, she tries to wear most ornaments :)

relax....I did :)

anyone else misses these guys ?..I do :)

The only show I'd stay home to watch, way back when I watched TV :) Now I don't even have it hooked up much less having cable or tivo. Its all kiddie dvd's and netflix these days..and I just cancelled the netflix (budget)I still get my news online and listening to NPR in my car..but no TV. Funny thing -- its been 2 years, and I can no longer imagine just doing that, JUST watching TV. I guess the voices in my head keep me entertained enough :)

The Churches of SPB, great site, great tour.

http://www.enlight.ru/camera/churches1/index_e.html

http://www.enlight.ru/camera/churches2/index_e.html

St. Vladimir's cathedral

Home to St.Ksenia's icon, the guardian saint of SPB. I'd often stop by there on the way from college to light a candle. Its a beautiful church.

Today was a blur..and its only the beginning of the end..I am suddenly calm and assertive and in control (I rarely am..)..I'm ready for anything and blessed by the closest of friends..and a few kind strangers. I guess I am lucky, after all :)

Griffons

What you can't see is that this last guy's pinky toe is painted red :)

pale makeup-less monster coming at ya..BOO !

Behind the white out is my stepson, who is the most adorable 10 year old in the world. Unfortunately his dad has asked me not to post his pics..

:)))

Boo, pointing at my lap top today-- "Google, mama !"

YES !!!