"I want to be with you so bad right now.. To touch your lips, smell your skin, cuddle up to you under covers with a window open.. To kiss your eyes till they no longer burn me, till you're asleep and I feel your breath on my cheek....I am discovering you every day.. There are worlds in you I can't wait to get lost in.."
I wrote this to my now husband 2 years ago, we moved out to burbs and had a baby since, now we work different shifts, hardly spend any time together, barely sleep and almost never kiss, much less "touch, smell, or cuddle" ..We just manage to have sex without all this nonsense :) I vividly remember this anticipation of a life together, a culmination of a timultious affair that involved major "demolitions" of all sorts.. and what followed is such a blur, I often wish I could "rewind" back to those letters, that amazing connection we felt with each other. And its not that I'm unhappy or dissapointed, I just feel like the essense of "us" has changed before it even took shape, before I realized there will be days when we'll have nothing to say to each other..and that's ok. I still love him, I'm still fascinated at times at boldness and finnesse and sheer wisdom with which he lives this life..but I do miss that brief moment in time when we were as one..