2 y/o, good as new

08:45 pm: on happiness
Happiness is dull. Unlike anticipation with its chances and worries and what ifs -- happiness is a consummated affair much like death..You can't top happiness. You have to fight comfort like cancer to stay alive. But you won't. Comfort's addictive. Eventually, you'll have to blow it all up to be able to feel again..pain, anger, lust, regret -- above all, for its happiness you're doomed to crave when the smoke is gone..Anticipation is the true happiness. To feel. That acute tingle of uncertainty..it won't sustain you, but what's left is but a compromise. Every day compromise to talk yourself into choices you made..Free not to make choices ?..Strong enough to be your own person ?..Lucky you. Lucky miserable lonely you..