This won't make a lot of sense, I just need to write it out..
Assuming you don't live in a dumpster and go to sleep hungry while battling a debilitating disease..and even if..-- what is the ultimate pursuit ?..What's missing that would make one feel happy, complete, content at the very least ?..More comforts ?..How much more is enough ? More money ?..Same thing. Maybe LESS ?..Some find simple living quite liberating. As someone prone to long "absenthisms" from my own reality, I've narrowed it down to one (1) component. Behold the obvious for the lucky some of you and a mind shattering bomb for "the ever lost" ones like me -- happiness is knowing what you want to do and doing exactly that. No conditions. No rules, no rutines, no obligations, no guaranties. Just self-awareness. Its a rare gift. I literally know just one person in my circle who seems trully happy no matter what is happening around him, because IN him is peace. He is an artist. He wants to do art, and he does, amazing art at that. He's short, poor, 2 times divorced, has a hernia and lives with his parents -- none of this matters apparently..HE is a beautiful human being that radiates HAPPINESS, dignity, and a love of life that is unsurpassed. This magnetism in turn brings him love of beautiful women, admiration of friends, his kids adore him and even frigging plants grow better around him. I know first hand, I was happiest surrounded by his stuff, his art..he himself proved to be overwhelming eventually, I guess I was insulted by this simple brilliance that was and still is beyond me. I hoped that happiness of his will rub off on me eventually, it didn't. Doing what you want. I'm blessed with many trophies I'm "supposed" to acquire by my age and even some I'm "supposed" to loose by now..I am lucky in many ways, but I missed the point. Lucky isn't happy. You can have everything at your posession and be at a total loss as to what to do with it. WHAT DO I WANT TO DO ? 39 years old and very, very good at daydreaming. Just shoot me.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
4 comments:
39 is so young you will probably live to be 90+ so time is on your side and love is there somewhere
You know, I am 34, almost, and I have the same problem about "WHAT TO DO".
It's a bloody bugger, isn't it?
it is !! and to make it worse -- "what NOT to do" is still an issue..and there you have it, living in the dark, day to day..till 90+..
Carson, I'm afraid I'm not after love these days..love has proven to be terribly destructive in my life..I loose myself in it, and then I'm miserable trying to break free
Post a Comment