Time

On my trip to St. Petersburg, Russia in 2003











TIME
"It's been ten years. They say one can't enter the same river twice, yet tonight I find myself going back in time, to the world where time had no meaning, where voices carried long over hot tin roof tops and sweet brier filled the air on a sheer summer night. The sites and sounds of city that eludes me to this day.
I open the gates and walk into an old school yard. Graffiti-covered walls, rubbish, hopscotch chalked into asphalt..no one here but stray cats. I sit on cold steps and light a cigarette. Whatever possessed me to come here so late..An old song runs through my feverish mind, over and over, I say the words out loud and the door slams in the wind. Time's got nothing on me..I'm home.
My old house -- ghostly and surreal in the night, back windows broken, stairwell lit up by a lonely light bulb. Going upstairs, my footsteps echo and I pause, overcome by visions and tears. Time. I feel it now. It's in these very shapes, shadows, scents. Time is a dusty oak tree peeking in, a name carved in the banister. Ten years gone by. Time is staring at me through a shattered window..
My door at last but I won't ring the bell. I won't disturb this great slumber, for I am sure now that one can't enter the same river twice. I run out and don't look back. These crumbling walls will no longer keep me safe. I leave behind a lost world, a time capsule never meant to be opened. No pain, no scars, but a mark left..and then I'm back, knowing life will never be the same again."