Belated

I'm in meetings all day, mindless tasks keeping me busy and my brain goes numb by 3 pm..while the only place I really want to be at is Gayle's funeral, few blocks away. Gayle. White haired, ethereal, almost translucent being with a smile too big for her, too big for this whole house of pain.. A curious child trapped in an old lady's body. Gayle was 97 but I never thought of her as old. Old women don't glow, don't smile like that, don't have hopes and dreams in their eyes..Not like her. She was an old Girl. I barely spoke to her other than a nod in passing..how I wish I did now, looking at an old foto -- petite brunette, this beaming delicate flower in a ruffled dress, perched atop a stone bench, the card reads -- 1954. Galapagos Islands. Gayle had no one, no one survived her, yet her funeral was said to be packed. She lived in Central America most her life, I imagine her traveling, praying, day-dreaming..she must have had quite a life. One of the original founders of local Baha'i Temple, an honored knight of Baha'ullah, say all you want about them but its a beautiful concept -- she was a vision of harmony and dignity and peace -- exactly what one feels inside a Baha'i temple. She was it. She slowly withered away over a few months, first time ever I saw her sad, lost, solemn..Nobody came to visit..Nobody really talked to her, too busy with their work. She always sat in the same spot, and she's been here forever..Now that she's gone, it feels like someone turned off the lights. Its empty and cold and abandoned. I miss her terribly. Miss the love she projected so effortlessly, so willingly, just by being her, being free..Gayle was free. Of guilt, regret, resentment that so plaque the old age..I think I know why. An angel lived next to me for 2 years and I barely noticed..my eyes are open now, but now she's gone. Amen.